Put Up or Shut Up

Complaining gets old doesn’t it?  Why do we allow ourselves to fall into this default mode when something doesn’t go our way or seems out of our control?

For one, it’s a hell of a lot easier.  If we fall into a loop of complaining, we relieve ourselves of any responsibility.  But we end up dragging everyone else down with us as a result.

Let’s take the parent with a kid that has a tendency to get a little restless at school.  I know the default – “if they would keep them more engaged at school, my kid wouldn’t be getting restless.  She needs to do a better job of coming up with interesting topics.”

After taking a little closer look – it’s pretty obvious here that the change only lies with one group.  The other group.  And that’s when we hit an impasse.  Both the teacher and our child suffers.  The whole situation gets worse as a result.  The teacher gets frustrated with you, and you get frustrated with the teacher, and as a result, the teacher stops putting in the same care and attention as she did before.  Is that worth it?

What happens when someone accuses you of wrong doing and claims you need to change?  How do you react?  You probably get a little defensive, don’t you?

What if, rather than accusing or blaming, we reach out for help and guidance?  What if we work with them rather than push the problem solving on someone else?

Next time you catch yourself in a default mode of complaining, take a step back, and think, “What can I do to make this better?  If I were the teacher, what would I expect from me as a parent?”

Put up or shut up – you can’t complain about the problem unless you are willing to be part of the solution.

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